Don't Resent Me
by Starlit Revenge
Summary: Songfic to Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park. Basically, Fang's thoughts at the end of FANG when he's writing the letter to Max. Kinda mushy.


_I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared  
But no one would listen  
'Cause no one else cared_

It was the night before Total and Akila's wedding. I had already planned out my leaving.

It started with a dream. Max and I were the only people alive in the world. She had failed to save the world, and everyone else, including the rest of the Flock, had died.

It was because Max chose to save me over the world.

_After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving  
When I'm done here?_

I woke up with a start. The dream made me realize. Max was distracted by me.

I would have to leave her.

_So if you're asking me  
I want you to know_

But I loved her. And she loved me. How can I just abandon her like this?

Truth is, I can't.

But I must.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

The best time to leave would be after the wedding. It was inconspicuous.

How the hell am I supposed to be able to do this? And what will I do after that?

_And don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest_

I hope you understand, Max. I don't want to leave. I love you. But I'm distracting you.

And I don't want to start the apocalypse.

_Don't be afraid  
I've taken my beating  
I've shed but I'm me_

But when I do leave, please don't worry about me. Leaving will be the hardest thing I've ever done.

I've made a deal with myself. You'll see me again in twenty years. I hope.

_I'm strong on the surface  
Not all the way through  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you_

I know I seem like a quiet, silent person. Others call me the silent, unemotional brick wall.

But Max, you know me. I know this is a stupid analogy, but I'm like, well, a Lindor truffle. Hard shell and soft inside. (Not to mention the fact that they're yummy too.) You're the only one other than me who knows about the inside.

Doing this goes against all my instincts. Bit I'll never live with myself if my dream comes true.

Whenever I ask you how the whole leadership business is going, you say you're fine. But I know you better than that. You're not.

_So if you're asking me  
I want you to know_

So my leaving is for the best. For you and the rest of the Flock anyway. Not for me, really.

God, I'm selfish.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

I wish I could tell you all of this. But then you'd stop me from leaving. And I can't let that happen.

This letter I'm writing isn't enough. My handwriting sucks too. But it has to do.

_Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest_

Don't hate me after this. You should, though. But I don't want your memories of me to be negative.

Remember me.

Oh, and on second thought, if Dylan's still around, kick his ass all the way to New Zealand for me.

_Forgetting all the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well  
Pretending someone else can come  
And save me from myself  
I can't be who you are_

I wish I could be like you sometimes. You show your love for things so easily.

I can tell you love me. I can see that you love the Flock.

But it's different for me. I spent years training myself to not sow emotion. It just doesn't work.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

I'm leaving soon, Max. I'm almost done with this letter already. The time we spent together was so

I'm breaking my heart purposely. Yours too. Please, someone tell me I'm crazy.

Why am I turning our worlds into shades of gray? Oh, I'm such a good poet (sarcasm intended.)

Why the hell am I being sarcastic?

_Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest_

Don't resent me. Try to live your life without me. I promise that I will too.

We'll meet again in twenty years. Remember me until then. I love you too much to never see you again before I die. And hopefully the world will be saved by then. Not to put so much pressure on you, of course.

_Forgetting all the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well  
Pretending someone else can come  
And save me from myself  
I can't be who you are  
I can't be who you are_

Max, I love you. When I leave, don't hate me. Don't forget to meet me at the cliff in twenty years.

Love me.

Remember me.


End file.
